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08 August 2011 @ 05:33 am
just ignore this.  
 I've run out of words to say, nothing sounds right when I say it aloud to myself. It all sounds cheap, and rehearsed. I know it's too late for my words to actually hold some bearing in the situation, but the longer I wait to say something, the more it's going to eat me alive.

Every time I see something, or I'm reminded of what I don't have, I feel my gut clench a little tighter inside. I know it's a lost cause, I know that we'll never get back to the way we used to be, I know that I can't go back and fix the mistakes I made. I know that.

I just want one day where I'm not reminded of how much I fucked up when I walked away from what I had. I don't even want to go back to that, or get you back, all I want is this feeling to go away.

You're happy, you've moved on. That's fantastic. Now I just wish I could too.

Yes, this is in place of an update about something else major going on in my life. I just don't know if I'm ready to talk about that yet.

None of this matters anymore. Family comes first. kbye.
 
 
 
dallonnotdillon on August 8th, 2011 10:09 am (UTC)
Mind if I copy this word for word since it says exactly what I'm thinking?
Spencer Smithspeaknspence on August 8th, 2011 10:44 am (UTC)
Go for it. I have a habit of doing that lately.
lambert the sheepish lion: birds of a featheradamlamebert on August 8th, 2011 03:43 pm (UTC)
if you ever need anyone to talk to, i'll be around. i understand the feeling.
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